Yeah...I'm not going to be doing this.
First of all, I really don't know that I have enough hours in the day already, and to add more to my already full plate seems to go against everything I have been trying to do in terms of making my life less stressful...so there's that.
Secondly, I highly doubt that attempting to go 75 days without chocolate will actually help me to lose the weight I want to lose. I will inevitably screw up, eat some chocolate, and then say Well, Lauren, you've already thrown the day away, why stop with the one chocolate? Why not just keep eating whatever you want to eat until the next time you decide to make a change? This has happened approximately 2,567 times during my adult life up to this point, so it's foolish to think that 75 Hard is going to change all that.
Finally, this is a fad. It sounds intriguing, it sound badass, but I need to be totally honest about what it is. It is a FAD. It's not sustainable (I haven't even been able to make it a day, really), and I just don't think it's right for me.
However, I SO wanted it to be right for me. I want the fix. I want the program that sounds exciting, challenging, elusive, and has the ability to give me a true sense of accomplishment. I felt like maybe, just maybe, if I could push myself hard enough to do something like this, I would finally be able to see the results I have been dreaming of forever.
Instead, upon reflection, I think what I need to really try to do is figure out how to live in the land of moderation. It's unrealistic to say that I'm never going to eat chocolate again. Even if I could make it 75 days without having a treat (and I'm sure I could if I had to), there is no way that I would stick with that after the 75 days were finished, and I could see myself gaining a whole lot of weight back quickly. This already happened to me this summer. After being so sick this spring that I really wasn't eating much of anything, I lost almost 25 pounds. What happened this summer, as soon as I was able to start eating again? The weight started coming back. I've put almost six pounds back on already.
What I've realized is that I don't know how to do things in moderation. I don't. I either do all of the portfolios in a week's time, or no portfolio work during the entire week. I either eliminate all vices, or allow all vices at all times, with no regard for their consequences...until I am staring their consequences straight in the face (for example, the number on the scale, the pain in my stomach, or the exhaustion I feel after having stayed up to watch three back to back episodes of a show into the wee hours of a school night/morning). I don't finish a book for six weeks, and then I finish three in one week's time. No moderation. I don't know how to do things in moderation, and I am starting to wonder if THAT has been my problem all along. Not my sweet tooth, not my aversion to hard exercise, and not even the laziness that seems to plague me all too frequently. I'm wondering if the issue is that I have never learned what doing things in moderation looks or feels like.
So here is my first step towards cultivating an understanding of moderation. While walking back from breakfast this morning, we passed Randy's Donuts. Since there was no line, we stopped, and I thought about buying a dozen. I really did. That's what I would usually do--why not, right? I knew they were going to be good, and everyone is talking about them, so why not indulge and enjoy? However, I heard Julia tell the woman behind the counter that she would be buying four donuts. Of course, Lauren. She has four in her family, just like you do. You don't need to buy a dozen donuts. Buy four donuts--one for each of you. So I did.
I bought the chocolate long john filled with more chocolate, and upon arriving at home, in my empty apartment, I ate every bite and enjoyed every bite. I drank a big glass of milk with it, and am still thinking about how delicious a treat it was. Now, could I have eaten a second donut? Yes. I absolutely could have. It was delicious, and though very sweet and very decadent, I definitely could have eaten another. However, I don't think I would be sitting here feeling the same way, had I eaten a second donut. I think instead of thinking about how delicious it was, I would be thinking about how overly full I felt, and how I had just eaten way too many calories, and how I was such a bad, weak person for giving in and eating a donut.
Were there a lot of calories in the donut and milk that I just consumed? Oh, absolutely there were. But you know what? There weren't as many in that one donut and glass of milk as there are in two or three, and if I had brought home two or three more donuts, I can tell you right now that I wouldn't have waited until tomorrow to eat the others. I would have more than likely eaten all of them over the course of the day today. Guess what else? I did CrossFit this morning, and walked to TravelMaker and back. It's not even 1:00 in the afternoon, and I've already burned 698 move calories today. Yes, the donut was a ton...but if I don't eat any more donuts today, and am sensible about my food choices for the rest of the day, and continue to move around a little bit, is my one donut and milk going to break the calorie bank and derail all of my exercise efforts? Probably not.
Moderation. This is what I need to focus on learning. Not deprivation as a mental toughness challenge. Moderation as a tool that can help me to achieve my goals.
Monday, July 27, 2020
Sunday, July 26, 2020
Day 1...Again
I didn't think that I would have to start over after just one day. Usually I can make it at least a few days when starting a challenge. However, it became clear to me at about 4:00 yesterday afternoon that there was no way I was going to be getting a second workout in...and then Philip opened a bottle of wine at their place, and though it really bothered my reflux the last time I drank some, and though I knew it was Day 1 of 75 Hard, I decided to put off starting. I drank the wine, and it actually didn't bother me, which was good...but now I am done, hopefully for the next 75 days!
I took a 40 minute walk around campus yesterday morning, and then did an arm weight workout, so I got my first workout in without problems, and I probably would have drunk the gallon of water, had I not had the wine. I also took a picture, and read like 20 pages in Love For Imperfect Things. I think the hardest part of this is going to be getting the second workout in. That and staying away from junk food.
Here is what I have decided for my diet:
1. No alcohol.
2. No soda or juice.
3. No chocolate, candy, or other types of sweets.
4. No fast food.
I did my first ever CrossFit workout this morning, which I am already super sore from, so that's good, but I've only drunk one bottle of water, and I've finished my lunch, so I need to catch up on water big time. I'm going for a walk with Sheila later on, so that will be my other workout, and I need to read some more in the book. I did take a picture this morning to replace yesterday's Day 1. Right now, I'm just hoping that this can be my Day 1.
I took a 40 minute walk around campus yesterday morning, and then did an arm weight workout, so I got my first workout in without problems, and I probably would have drunk the gallon of water, had I not had the wine. I also took a picture, and read like 20 pages in Love For Imperfect Things. I think the hardest part of this is going to be getting the second workout in. That and staying away from junk food.
Here is what I have decided for my diet:
1. No alcohol.
2. No soda or juice.
3. No chocolate, candy, or other types of sweets.
4. No fast food.
I did my first ever CrossFit workout this morning, which I am already super sore from, so that's good, but I've only drunk one bottle of water, and I've finished my lunch, so I need to catch up on water big time. I'm going for a walk with Sheila later on, so that will be my other workout, and I need to read some more in the book. I did take a picture this morning to replace yesterday's Day 1. Right now, I'm just hoping that this can be my Day 1.
Saturday, July 25, 2020
Day 1
Well, here we go...it's Day 1!
I woke up this morning at 5:15, thinking, no one knows I'm doing this, and no one knows that today is my start day, so maybe I should just go back to sleep. I'm tired, and this is going to be hard, and another day to process and plan won't make a difference. So I did go back to sleep...but I set the alarm for 6:30, and when it went off, I got up and went out for a walk, and when I came inside, I lifted weights until my 45 minutes were up. First workout completed! I am now drinking my first bottle of water for the day.
The diet component of this will be the hardest for me for sure. No chocolate for 75 days...really?! It's going to be hard. However, as Katie (runsforcookies) says, she thinks it may take a week or a little more, but then, she'll be in such a habit that she won't even think of quitting or cheating. I hope that's the case for me. Right now, I am sort of chocolated out, but how will I feel in a few days? I'm not sure.
So I don't know exactly what I'm doing with my diet yet. I'm not going to say that I'm going totally acid watcher, but I know that I need to watch my acid, so I am toying with the idea of looking up the pH values of everything before I eat it, and to just stick with foods that are above 5 or 6. For today, my plan is to avoid what the 75 Hard says to avoid (alcohol, chocolate, cake, etc.). I will also not be eating any fast food. I have eaten so much fast food this past week, so it's time to take a break from that, anyway.
Here we go...this is Day 1.
I woke up this morning at 5:15, thinking, no one knows I'm doing this, and no one knows that today is my start day, so maybe I should just go back to sleep. I'm tired, and this is going to be hard, and another day to process and plan won't make a difference. So I did go back to sleep...but I set the alarm for 6:30, and when it went off, I got up and went out for a walk, and when I came inside, I lifted weights until my 45 minutes were up. First workout completed! I am now drinking my first bottle of water for the day.
The diet component of this will be the hardest for me for sure. No chocolate for 75 days...really?! It's going to be hard. However, as Katie (runsforcookies) says, she thinks it may take a week or a little more, but then, she'll be in such a habit that she won't even think of quitting or cheating. I hope that's the case for me. Right now, I am sort of chocolated out, but how will I feel in a few days? I'm not sure.
So I don't know exactly what I'm doing with my diet yet. I'm not going to say that I'm going totally acid watcher, but I know that I need to watch my acid, so I am toying with the idea of looking up the pH values of everything before I eat it, and to just stick with foods that are above 5 or 6. For today, my plan is to avoid what the 75 Hard says to avoid (alcohol, chocolate, cake, etc.). I will also not be eating any fast food. I have eaten so much fast food this past week, so it's time to take a break from that, anyway.
Here we go...this is Day 1.
Wondering...Can I Do This?
I am always looking for a challenge. I'm great at looking for them, I'm great at finding them, and I'm great at planning for how I'm going to complete them. The piece I haven't quite figured out yet is the follow-through. I am a starter, not a finisher. I am a champion starter, even with things that are really challenging, but when it comes to finishing, I have a lot to learn. You can imagine, then, the reluctance with which I am typing this first post. I'm going into this already knowing in the back of my mind that I won't be able to finish it. Pretty defeating thought, right?
I learned about the 75 Hard challenge last week while reading a blog that I have followed for years. The blogger has begun her own 75 Hard, and plans to document her journey. Basically, here's what the 75 Hard boils down to:
* 75 is 75 days. Yes, DAYS.
* Follow a diet. You choose what the diet is, but whatever it is, it needs to eliminate alcohol, chocolate, cake, and cookies. Also, there can be no cheat meals. Whichever diet you choose is your diet for 75 days.
*Work out twice a day, for 45 minutes each time. It can't be one workout for 90 minutes; instead, it needs to be two 45 minute workouts, and one of them should take place outside.
* Drink 1 gallon of water each day.
* Read ten pages of a self-improvement, nonfiction book, each day.
* Take one progress photo each day.
* Here's the real kicker. If you mess up, or forget to do something one day, you have to start back at the beginning. This challenge will most certainly yield physical results, but it is actually meant to be a mental toughness challenge. How much would it suck to be 50 days in and have to start over? Hence the mental toughness.
Is this going to be hard? Yes. Is it going to be too hard? Yes, probably. Should I be trying to do it? Absolutely. Am I going to tell anyone that I am doing it? Not yet. And here's why.
1. I don't want people checking up on me, especially because I'm pretty positive I'm not going to be able to stick with this.
2. I want this to be my thing, not anyone else's.
3. I know that most people will think it's crazy.
4. I know that most of the people I know will likely think I can't do this. That's ok--I don't think I can do it, either--but I don't want anyone else telling me what I can't do.
I am starting tomorrow. I think that a huge part of being able to be successful with this will be to really establish a morning routine. I think that if I can establish a steady morning routine, I will have an easier time with this. Here is what I'm thinking of for my morning routine:
1. Morning workout: either a walk or Zumba/Jillian video on YouTube.
2. Drink one HydroFlask of water.
3. Jesus Calling.
4. 5 pages of self-improvement book.
5. Take photo.
In order to keep this routine, I don't think I can sleep in past 5:10 or 5:15 on school mornings, which won't be easy, but I've got to try. I used to wake up that early on a regular basis. I think I can get used to it again if I can make myself go to bed by 10 each night.
I could go on and on about all of the reasons I need to be doing this challenge, but I think I will save them for tomorrow, or the next day. Right now, I have a little bit of hope that I can make a go of this...but just a little. Remember, I am a starter, not a finisher.
I learned about the 75 Hard challenge last week while reading a blog that I have followed for years. The blogger has begun her own 75 Hard, and plans to document her journey. Basically, here's what the 75 Hard boils down to:
* 75 is 75 days. Yes, DAYS.
* Follow a diet. You choose what the diet is, but whatever it is, it needs to eliminate alcohol, chocolate, cake, and cookies. Also, there can be no cheat meals. Whichever diet you choose is your diet for 75 days.
*Work out twice a day, for 45 minutes each time. It can't be one workout for 90 minutes; instead, it needs to be two 45 minute workouts, and one of them should take place outside.
* Drink 1 gallon of water each day.
* Read ten pages of a self-improvement, nonfiction book, each day.
* Take one progress photo each day.
* Here's the real kicker. If you mess up, or forget to do something one day, you have to start back at the beginning. This challenge will most certainly yield physical results, but it is actually meant to be a mental toughness challenge. How much would it suck to be 50 days in and have to start over? Hence the mental toughness.
Is this going to be hard? Yes. Is it going to be too hard? Yes, probably. Should I be trying to do it? Absolutely. Am I going to tell anyone that I am doing it? Not yet. And here's why.
1. I don't want people checking up on me, especially because I'm pretty positive I'm not going to be able to stick with this.
2. I want this to be my thing, not anyone else's.
3. I know that most people will think it's crazy.
4. I know that most of the people I know will likely think I can't do this. That's ok--I don't think I can do it, either--but I don't want anyone else telling me what I can't do.
I am starting tomorrow. I think that a huge part of being able to be successful with this will be to really establish a morning routine. I think that if I can establish a steady morning routine, I will have an easier time with this. Here is what I'm thinking of for my morning routine:
1. Morning workout: either a walk or Zumba/Jillian video on YouTube.
2. Drink one HydroFlask of water.
3. Jesus Calling.
4. 5 pages of self-improvement book.
5. Take photo.
In order to keep this routine, I don't think I can sleep in past 5:10 or 5:15 on school mornings, which won't be easy, but I've got to try. I used to wake up that early on a regular basis. I think I can get used to it again if I can make myself go to bed by 10 each night.
I could go on and on about all of the reasons I need to be doing this challenge, but I think I will save them for tomorrow, or the next day. Right now, I have a little bit of hope that I can make a go of this...but just a little. Remember, I am a starter, not a finisher.
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